Beer and football VI — playoffs, week two

The game: Chiefs at Patriots
The beer: Ballast Point Sculpin India Pale Ale
The result: Win, 27–20
The commentary: Ladies and gentlemen, Andy Reid & His Five-Minute Drives! I love that band. I love when the Pats' defense can just hang out and listen to them perform without worrying about where to stand and whom to cover because, oh look, the singer and the guitarist are doing the thing where they're facing each other like they're the only people in the world. "This song rocks! I hope it goes on forever!" And it did. For eleven years.

NFL media is on it from all angles. As news items go, maybe ninety percent of the coverage is "Andy Reid historically mismanaged the clock," nine percent is "Chandler Jones smoked PCP and the Foxborough police department covered it up," zero percent—somehow—is "There seems to be legitimate evidence that Peyton Manning has been using HGH for years" and one percent is "No, stupid, it's his wife… and did you hear about Chandler Jones's PCP rampage? Go Broncos!"

(Elsewhere, notable fucktard Dan Fouts applied his notably fucktarded analytical skills during the third quarter by observing "What a chess match between coaches!" The Pats led 21–6 at the time. Let's turn the mic over to G., upon completing a family portrait in the medium of markers: "Dad, I'm giving you orange hair. Is that OK? Because you like orange." The artist—taking a break from her ongoing Playmobile jungle parties, well attended by all manner of fairies and unicorns as well as a Canadiens goaltender and a flower-power guitarist—has vision!)

Brady–Manning lives! We'll be telling our grandkids about this. "No, the one with the giant welt on his forehead played for the other team." Good guys favored by three but all that means, I think, is that more people are betting on them to win/cover than on the Broncos. (I know nothing about point spreads, for straight up is how I roll.) Is it possible for Manning's jacked-up hormones to score twenty-five points? That his defense can hold Brady, Gronk, Edelman and James "Don't Sleep on Me… Oh Wait, I'm Not a Major Part of the Game Plan Again for Some Reason So Maybe Go Ahead and Sleep (Seriously, Though, I Could Be the Difference-Maker on Sunday)" White to fewer than twenty? I just hope it's colder than fifty goddamn degrees.

I am comfortable. In Foxborough it's a blowout, right? On a neutral field it's a ten-point victory. But in Denver? Surrounded by such passionate, bearded hostility? Where players openly talk of going after Gronk's knees, even if it is the only way to tackle him? Our friends at Danilchuk have yet to indicate their confidence level but I like your New England Patriots by four. A Super Bowl bye week's worth of PSI discussion is riding on it.

Up next: I know formulas determine regular-season schedules and playoff seeding but—Jesus Christ!—have the Broncos ever come to Foxborough? Cheers!