Tuesday, February 28, 2006

You can keep “In My Life”

I mentioned in my last post that A. and I are all engaged up. It's going to be April of next year, but the way we're cruising along it might as well be this year: she already has her dress and I already know where I'll go suit shopping a week before the wedding.

We've had a lot of practice with weddings the past few years and we've been watching and learning. I'm thirty-one so my "peak" was 2001 when I went to I think six of them. She's twenty-seven and nearing or at her peak now. So yeah, it's safe to say we know what we like and what we wouldn't touch with a ten-foot wedding poll.

One thing we're in total agreement about—which is most stuff, honestly; we've determined the only things we truly disagree about are city smoking laws (she wants to remain alive and I want everyone to be left alone), wine flavor (I tend to like the reds that she doesn't and she tends to like the whites that I don't) and the value of a bed-and-breakfasts (I embrace the lack of obligation that comes with hotels); and if we're not just the cutest things then you can go to hell—is how to treat the music. I enjoy a cheesy band as much as the next guy—in fact, some friends and I used to frequent an Allston bar and so mercilessly tormented a frequent house band with shouts of "Highway to Hell!" that they actually learned the song. But there are instances where you want to hear the exact version of a song you're familiar with, and there are no winners when your carefully choreographed dance moves get fucked up by some cover-band hackery. So we'll stick to what we know, and if what we know is Mick Jagger puzzling his way through "Get Off of My Cloud" then that's what the guests are getting. Crazy laundry-detergent verses and all.

Potentially we'll turn the music over to a machine, which might result in some kind of Terminator-like apocalypse. I'm willing to risk that. Ever since one of my awkward sixth-grade dances when a friend and I went up to the DJ to request "Black Dog" and the old gross dude said "You just want something fast so you can watch their titties bounce," I knew to avoid the whole lot of them. And that my innocence was broken.

This will not be a Wedding's Greatest Hits! wedding. There will be no "In My Life" (a truly depressing song as incongruous as using "Fortunate Son" or "Volunteers" to evoke patriotism—oh wait, that's been done). No "Wonderful Tonight" (ick). No "At Last" (as much as I like the song, I refuse to contribute to its wedding oversaturation). We both love music, and we're not going for this canned playlist shit. We're picking important songs we actually like. For instance, our first dance will be Elliott Smith (an artist she introduced me to) covering "Waterloo Sunset" by the Kinks (a group I introduced her to). Isn't that nice?

We'll also play "Groove Is in the Heart." Because that song is the balls.