Monday, April 3, 2006


"Opening Day has finally arrived… the day baseball fans were waiting for all Winter long."

Seriously, DJ Gallo? (Also: "DJ Gallo"?) "Finally"? "All Winter long"? The baseball off-season is like three weeks. I am jonesing for football to start… now that's an off-season. But baseball?

I'm the first to admit that when it comes to the Red Sox, I am one hundred percent content with the 2004 championship—that season was magical. So I'm probably not the best guy to listen to when it comes to complaining about baseball. But seriously, the season shouldn't start before—or end after—you can see your breath at night in any baseball city. It's just retardedly long. I don't know, maybe Cardinals or Braves fans like the long season because they're just happy to be along for the ride, even if their teams never fail to shit the bed in the playoffs. But living in New England is brutal, in that it's all Red Sox all the time for seven months. Dan Shaughnessy for seven months? This is a circle of hell.

Only nine remain from the saving-grace team, and a little bit of the sports fan in me dies every time another one moves on. So sure, bring on the season. I'll follow the scores during the day and watch the games at night (sometimes), maybe even go to a few. And I'll hope they make the playoffs and win some games. But the Red Sox became the Red Sox, Inc. sometime in the last seventeen months, and pardon me if I'd rather root for a bunch of idiots. So here's hoping the Cubs fire their barber.